Showing posts with label great moments in history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label great moments in history. Show all posts

Monday, May 12, 2008

Great Moments in Celebrity History: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Wed

What's the scientific formula for crazy?

Just when I thought love couldn’t exist in the celebrity world along comes the union of crazy herself Mariah/Mimi/MooMoo/E=MC² Carey and Nick Cannon-I-Get-Some-Attention-By Marrying-A-High-Profile-Celebrity. It warms my heart to see two people who obviously care for each other and have thought long and hard before entering the sacred institution of marriage. I love that they are not afraid to show their love despite a world that has and will continue to unfairly judge them. I have decided to take the high road and congratulate the happy couple on what will surely be weeks of wedded bliss. Despite my exhilaration, I am left with a giant problem: what do I get them for a wedding gift? What do you get a woman who has everything and a man who will soon acquire a considerable chunk of that everything. It's a problem I believe many of you will be facing so, after doing some Einstein like thinking, I have come up with a list of suggestions that I hope will help.

  • A commemorative plate with a photo of the happy couple on it (Please make sure the plate is plastic as we know that Mariah has had trouble with crockery in the past).
  • Clothing that fits.
  • An emancipation machine.
  • Some backing singers who do not sing her parts during live performances.
  • A signed photo of her favourite artist, Mariah Carey.
  • A signed alimony check of his favourite meal ticket, Mariah Carey.
  • A computer so she can load the wedding video up on "YouTube, YouTube." Listen to the song Touch My Body if you don't get that one.
  • A cake baked out of rainbows and smiles with marzipan butterflies and glitter edging. Mariah: Did someone say cake!
  • For him - A good attorney. For her - A good doctor (You just know that Madam Crazy is gonna end up having another breakdown soon).
  • A Hello Kitty Toaster (It was a wedding after all).

For more Mimi madness visit her Official Site