"No I am not hiding cigarettes under my hat" (Photo: Vanity Fair)
Emmy winner Katherine Heigl is a star! For those who have yet to come to terms with this, then it is about time you did. The woman is a goddess. From bagging out her own movies to taking the art of smoking to new levels, she is every shade of amazing. You really have to admire someone who has had to work with Steven Seagal , Gérard Depardieu and Ellen Pompeo and not only didn’t slit her throat, she went on to win an Emmy and become the next star of the American rom-com. And let us not forget that she also stars in the life affirming Grey’s Anatomy, the greatest show ever been made.
Emmy winner Katherine Heigl, I love you and it is time to make a confession. I’ve been stalking you and recording your every move. Remember those strange noises you thought you heard coming from inside your wardrobe the other night. It was me, pad and pencil in hand, recording the number of times you woke up to have a sneaky cigarette and re-watch your Emmy speech as Josh slept silently beside you. But I don’t want you to be afraid, for I mean you no harm. I simply find everything you do absolutely fascinating. When I’m done I’m going to compile my studies into a book I plan to call The Heigl Bible: Lessons Learnt by Stalking Emmy Winner Katherine Heigl. It will be fabulous! Until then Ms. Heigl, I hope you don’t mind, I’m going to share some of my findings. But never fear, I left out that one thing (KH, you know what I’m talking about).
- Katherine likes to piff cigarette butts at people who mispronounce her last name. It’s pronounced High-gull bitches.
- She likes to chain smoke while watching her husband perform everyday tasks. Nothing gets her going more than watching him change a flat tire.
- She loves to attend weddings and have drunken sex with tubby men (27 Dresses and Knocked Up were documentaries, right?). Of course, she smokes during both events.
- In an effort to avoid Ellen Pompeo while on the set of Grey's Anatomy, she has be known to impersonate a corpse.
- Katherine is in talks to remake her favourite film, 200 Cigarettes.
- She really likes to win emmys and pity those who do not have one.
- When asked by a security guard to put out her cigarette during an awards ceremony she huffed and she puffed and threatened to blow his house down.
- She enjoys physically threatening her BFF T.R Knight’s boyfriends. You can take the girl out of the trailer park…
- For Christmas, she likes to hand out cigarettes and lighters to children in need. And to think we make a big deal about that Geldof freak.
Do you get the feeling she likes smoking?
No comments:
Post a Comment