Lesson #6: Celebrity Inventors

"Who the f**k is this God fellow"

It is widely believed that God is the ultimate creator of all things but I think he has gotten too much credit in the past and it is about time we gave some recognition to some of the unsung heroes from the world of celebrity. These honourable individuals painstakingly toiled away in their tool sheds in the hopes of bettering our everyday lives and the world in which we know. In honour of the ultimate inventor Janice Dickinson, who not only coined the phrase supermodel but invented modelling itself, I offer the first instalment of celebrity inventors who can now rest easy that they are finally getting their dues.

Mariah Carey invented crazy.
Katherine Heigl invented smoking.
Barbara Streisand invented Jews.
Kate Bush invented the bong.
Tina Turner invented domestic violence. Young diva Paulini was so inspired she invented the black eye.
Dannii Minogue has invented many things. Her sister Kylie – nothing!
Betty White invented television.
Yoko Ono invented art.
Rhianna invented the forehead.
Alec Baldwin invented chest hair although Alicia Keys gave him a run for his money.
Olivia Newton-John invented Chloe Lattanzi . We all make mistakes.
Fergie invented urine.
Cheryl Tweedy invented winking and bathroom brawls.
Tori Amos invented rape.
Lance Armstrong invented cancer. Sheryl Crow found out the hard way.
Nicole Kidman invented botox and the pretend pregnancy.
Mika has yet to invent anything so perhaps he should stop acting like such a twat.
Deborah Harry invented pop music.
Alison Goldfrapp invented the wheel chair - Out of necessity.
Roisin Murphy invented the hat. She then decided it was also a mask. Clever lady!

A mother and her mistake: Chloe Lattanzi and Olivia Newton-John